Sneak peak: Or, set

Set by the fabulous John Anderson

the shape of a family

My Mister and my girls, making Orange Juice in our kitchen

Recently I heard an interview on KPBS These Days with a couple of stay-at-home-dads. I only caught the tail end of the program, but as the wife to a mostly stay-at-home-dad, I desperately wanted to call in and discuss. Alas, I never made it to air, but it got me thinking about the traditional family structure, how so many of us in theatre ignore it, and how recent politics (think prop 8 ) have asked us if it even really matters anymore.

Last month I interviewed a guy for a bartending position at the Pub I manage and watched him slowly break down as he discussed why he was so desperately in need of a job. With two kids and a recent job loss, he was looking for anything to keep them afloat. “My wife had a great job, but I told her she needed to quit. I couldn’t take care of two kids! I need to provide!”

Wait.

So your wife has a full time gig with benefits AND you’re out of work, but you ask her to quit? Ultimately, after discussing this further, it came down to a matter of pride. In his world, it wasn’t OK for his wife to be the provider while he cared for their active kids. So, instead of hanging on to what they had (one full time job in this economy), he asked her to stay home while he hit the street to find a job fit for a man. One that could take months, if not years to find.

Um, I didn’t hire him. Not because the feminist in me was screaming (though she was very much ruffled) but because I knew this gig could not sustain his family & (if lucky) he’d soon be on to something that could. And I hate training people just to have them walk out the door.

It’s things like this that make me so happy to be in my marriage, with my Mister.

For our family, we’ve always been flexible and accommodating to the structural needs of our family as it stands right now. My Mister and I have traded places through the years, he carrying the full time gig while I stay home and nurse babies, me working outside the home full time while he drove kids to school and the park. It’s allowed us to grab onto the gig that is there, rather than the one that may show up later. It’s given us a unique perspective, knowing exactly what it’s like to be in the others shoes. But mostly, it’s allowed us to be the most fulfilled people AND parents we can be.

Working in the theatre allows this flexibility more than the average field, I suspect, though it’s not the most lucrative world in which to work. We’ve traded things for a lifestyle that allows us more time with our kids and while it can be sometimes difficult (I do like things, after all) I cannot imagine life another way.

How do you follow your family needs? Do you have a more “traditional” structure? Have you ever traded places with your partner? Where do you think the shape of a family is headed?

Bad ass “Or,” director Shana Wride

Q:… Hometown?
A: San Diego. I did grow up in Campo and Lakeside!

Q: What was the last show (or current one) that people may have seen you in or your work in?
A: As an actor, “Private Lives” (critics circle award) as a Director, “Anita Bryant Died for Your Sins” at Diversionary.

Q: What did you think when you first read “Or,”?
A: “What a fun and original script, I can’t wait to get started!”

Q: What research have done for your design, direction or character for “Or,” that you have been inspired by?
A: I have read several books on the main characters and one book on the style of Restoration Comedy. I have also watched four movies and BBC documentaries about the period as well as endless nerdy Google searches.

Q: What do you think people will love MOST about “Or,”?
A: It is joyous and doesn’t take itself too seriously, ever.

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DIY

Production Manager Missy Bradstreet showing off her Wonder Woman Style at the Opening of “The Toughest Girl Alive”. Missy is full of moxie, an amazing mama and the kind of friend you’d want in your corner.

I used to work for a theatre company that had the mission to “tell good stories well”. There is nothing I adore more than a really good story, told in a beautiful, honest, emotionally connected, raw way. Granted, that’s not exactly what this company does, though back in the day that I was working for them, they did it more often then I feel they do now (now-a-days, you’re not going to see much “raw” on that stage, for instance). Their work now tends to lean a bit more commercial than I prefer, though is still some “good” stories told “well”, so they have not shied away from their mission.

When I worked with the now (mostly) defunct Sledgehammer Theatre, back when the stunningly talented Kirtsen Brandt was the Artistic Director, “raw” was all over that stage. The work we did there made me feel proud to put my name in the program and vital to the continuation of an artistic process. We missed big, sometimes, but the intentions lay more in producing art than in selling tickets; which I found immensely satisfying as a closet artist who has worked exclusively as an administrator for the length of my career.  We would gather on dark weekends to share ideas, train, push through to the emotion under the surface of a piece, fight and once, to have a shaman clean the ghosts out of the theatre (no lie). This, up until now, was the high point in my career as Sledge allowed me to pull all my values into a single place and work tirelessly towards an end I was deeply proud to present. Of course, it didn’t pay. And then I got pregnant and the “tireless” ran out. So I quit and made babies for a couple years (of which I am deeply proud).

Now I work for one of the largest theatres in town and while I can feel a great deal of pride about the product the company produces, there isn’t a lot of room to be connected to the process when you run the pub. That and the work they produce is a little too commercial for my blood, though immensely entertaining. Working there, I often tell people, feeds my family, but not my soul.

That’s where MOXIE comes into play.

At MOXIE, I feel like we get to tell amazing stories in surprising ways. Often, people assume this is a company with a deeply respectable budget. They assume, based on what they see on the stage, that our funding is well cared for. If I shared with you the actual budget, you’d be right to insist that nobody could produce this level of product with that little money. Nobody, that is, except someone with moxie, and that’s what this company has in spades. The commitment to the mission, “to create more diverse and honest images of women for our culture using the art of theatre” has never been so beautifully displayed, despite funding limitations. And being part of a feminist theatre has fed my soul in a way I didn’t even know it was lacking. As the mother of two daughters, I can show them what strong, powerful women can do, no matter what gets in the way or what we are told we cannot do. It’s heartbreakingly awesome and opens them to a world of options even I didn’t know they had.

Imagine what we could do with “real” money?

Seriously, I want you to imagine it. In the comments, tell me what you think MOXIE could achieve with a budget that allowed us to pay our staff for full time work. If enough of us get the vision flowing, we just might find a way to make it happen. Dream big, people; we’ve already shown that we are capable of more than anyone would suspect.

What really happens in fancy hotels

My Mister did a gig up at the Beverly Hilton this last week and on Friday I found someone to take the kids overnight so I could ride the train North to join him in LA.  I happen to love the train.  If we had better infrastructure around the train lines in Southern California, I’d take the damn things everywhere.  Even the train stations are sexy, as evidenced by my quick capture of Union Station, one of the sexiest of the bunch.  Of course, getting from Union Station to Beverly Hills was ridiculous (lack of infrastructure, indeed).  And riding the metro in LA left me wondering why, WHY! would any self-respecting teenager feather his hair?  The 80′s style had few redeeming qualities and I promise you that feathered hair was NOT one of them.  It was all I could do not to take a photo of this kid, show it to him and then demand an explanation.

But I digress.

I did, after all, promise to tell you what really happens in fancy hotels.

Once we finally found each other and, due to LA traffic, missed our drinks date with a local friend from college, the Mister and I took ourselves out for sushi.  Then back to the hotel to check on the concert (The Spazmatics, who were doing 80′s cover music without anyone on keys… seriously) and then up to our room where we… promptly fell asleep.  I think my rocking 20′s are over.

The next morning?  After sleeping in we did this:

Just kidding

So here I go, opening big. “I’m gonna crank this bitch up!” I yell into the proverbial wind.

And then? Crickets.

Yeah, I got sick. The kind of sick where you wake up one morning with your face as white as a sheet, your voice run off, and your breath dragging in and out of you like low tide across the rocks.

Upper respiratory infections are greedily little punks. The take up all your time & energy.

But I feel almost human again, thanks to antibiotics to kill the infection & probiotics to save my gut. So instead of me going on about something I can no longer remember (seriously, I wrote the best freaking post in my head the night before I got sick) I want to ask you a question:

In what kind of moment do you feel most alive?

Interpret that as you see fit. I eagerly await your replies.

PS I’m writing this post on my phone, so it could format beautifully or look like a monkey did the layout. Super curious as to where it’ll place the photo. This could be interesting…

Right, how do we work this thing?

It’s been over a year since one of us MOXIE girls sat down to share with the fine folks that live in our computers. This is downright irresponsible of us. But then, you try creating award-winning art while making & caring for small humans, maintaining relationships and keeping food on the table in this economy. It’s shockingly hard at times.

And yet, we are more often in love with the work we do than not. This is due in large part to the people we get to work with and those crystal clear moments where everything comes together on stage and creates a perfect breath… one that is raw and honest and speaks into the very heart of the those we aim to serve.

That would be you, by the way.

But really, as the newest MOXIE, I’m working on getting this bidness back up and talking about what we do, what YOU do and how art moves forward in all our lives, no matter if you’re a MOXIE or “just” a Mama with poster paint in your hair.  I aim to post some photos of what’s happening behind the scenes (I have a particularly interesting set of photos that include a certain MOXIE birthday girl and a “fireman”, but I can’t promise they’ll make it here), with our audiences (opening night of The Toughest Girl Alive we snapped a photo of the audience), those people who make all of this possible and whatever else comes to mind.

But before I do, can I get an echo?  In other words, is anybody even out there anymore?  Say hello and let us know you want more moxielicious content.

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Elaine Gingery is the newest MOXIE, working as a “Managing Associate”.  Previously she worked as Managing Director for Sledgehammer Theatre and New Village Arts.  She has made her way through various other arts organizations in San Diego since 1991.  Currently she works as the Pub Manager at The Old Globe and parents two little girls, age 5 & 7, while knitting poorly, photographing everything that’ll hold still, raising chickens and writing her own blog at Wannabe Hippie.